“I smell Natasha.”
Grant looks at me quizzically and I realize how odd that sounds. “The first year we were roommates, she and I would go on these wacky adventures together.” I shrug, “This time of year always makes me think of her.”
I wonder what my senpai is doing right now. She was never one to be tied down to anyone or anything, at least in my experience with her. She was like the wind and went wherever it took her. Natasha breezed into my life just as quickly as she breezed out. And I was never the same.
I shake the memory. Thinking of her always makes me…I don’t know what. I resented her for leaving me. I think a part of me still does.
For all that people think she was a bad influence on me, she really was the best friend I needed at the time. It was like something out of a coming-of-age novel, as much as that notion makes me want to gag, it’s the truth. Everyone who met her was immediately attracted to her in some respect. Magnetic personality I think they call it. Jonathan, Kris, Duff, Lindsey, Amanda…me…Kit… She had us all under her spell.
Of course, there were others who she had an opposite effect on. They didn’t not like her, but they certainly didn’t trust her. After everything that’s happened between us, I wonder vaguely why I have not completely fallen in with this group. Jonathan fell into it and in some ways he tried to get me to see her for what she was, too.
But what was she? Was she really a “liar”? Sure, she liked to exaggerate things, but I didn’t think that made her a bad person. After everything that’s happened between us…to us…there were some things she couldn’t have lied about. I know. I was there. And so was Jon. There are just some things we can’t change by pretending they didn’t happen…
I miss her desperately…I really do. If anything because it was never a dull moment with Natasha. She took my life and made it interesting.
Yeah…I think I was in love with her.
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