No, Really, I Am an American

I hope that everyone back home had a nice “Talk Like a Pirate Day” — I know we did!

Yeah, I bitch and moan about going out to alcoholic establishments and stuff, but usually when that happens, I end up having a pretty fun time.

Such was the case this evening.

Mike and Jacob returned to the house after the split shift to “suit up”, well, Jacob did at least, clad in a half-doublet-jerkin type thing and of course, what pirate king would be without his pirate hat (or could we call it a crown in this case?). And before y’all cry out in dismay, I do believe there was a great effort to locate an eye patch but to no avail.

We met the rest of Fight Club after the last lesson and headed down Shinsaibashi where Mike knew of this Pirate Themed Bar. To our mistfortune, the last call was served at 11:00 PM. We arrived at 11:20PM.

What is it with the hours of operation in this country?

We were disappointed, naturally; I mean, come on, Pirate Bar and all, but this did not deter us of our mission. We opted instead to hit a 280.

I don’t know the actual name of these places, but there are bunches of them all over Osaka. Well, yeah, there are 280 bars all over, but I refer to this particular chain. Matt had taken me to one a couple months ago so I knew it to be reputable.

We were seated in the back corner since we apparently inspire proprietors to tuck us away. There is something fantabulous about these places that I daresay I actually like. I think it’s the ambience. It wasn’t exactly brightly lit, but it was warm — wood furninshing that’s seen some wearing, medium glow of the lights, etc, and the boistrous conversations and vendor greetings of the servers.

Drinks were ordered all around, including me. Now here’s where the story takes a terrible turn…

I found a drink I liked…and yes, even finished.

It ain’t an Ameretto Sour. It’s someting called Cassis Orange. I have no idea whether or not it’s unique to Japan or anything as I am not well versed in my alcoholic beverages, but damn was that thing tasty!

We ordered food and laughed and talked pirate ships and what we’d name them and the like. There were pictures and teasing, laughter and hopes for more nights like these.

As our evening began to dwindle, what with work in the morning, attention was turned to me and whether or not I would finish my Cassis Orange. I had pretty much been nursing it all night; I was reluctant to drink it quickly and knew full well that I had the Bloom goin’ on.

I diverted the attention by pointing out that Mike still had 3/4 of his own beer left — although, for the record (and to his credit), he had already finished a Cassis Mango (I think it was Cassis Mango) and a shot of whiskey.

Pointing this out was of course a mistake because I was obviously challenging him and his drinking capacity.

Mike promptly fixed a defiant eye on me, picked up his glass, and proceeded to chug the rest of the tankard, and yeah, I mean tankard.

“I just have one thing to say…”

“Is it going to be in Belch?” My Kuya is quite fluent in this language it seems.

This was yet another challenge of course because yes, he did speak a bit of Belch.

“Now say ‘Luke, I am your father.’” Phil suggested.

I cannot quite capture Belch well into our…limited language, but I’m sure you can imagine what this must have sounded like.

This warranted much laughter, so much so that I curled down into the bench and even shed a few tears. Hilarious.

I’d like to tell you that I was not to be outdone, but that would be a lie. Yeah, I finished my Cassis Orange, but not quite with the same grace that Mike chugged his beer.

All and all, it was a FANFREAKINGTABULOUS Talk Like a Pirate Day in Osaka.

Hope you lot had the same.

And yes, there are at least three picture documenting this night. One of them includes me with my empty glass.