No, Really, I Am an American

Fight Club decided to go to Iga and visit one of the famous Ninja headquarters during the pre-Meiji Era.

Our misadventure began at an early hour, well, early for the fact that it was our Sunday and we were up and at ‘em at an hour typical of work. There was plenty of good natured grumbling on my part.

We agreed to meet at Fuse at 9:30 AM. Matt had intentions of making it to work in the afternoon, and we figured if we left early enough, there was a chance he could make it. (He didn’t.) According to the train schedule, there was one leaving for Iga-Kanbe at 9:47 AM, and another at 9:56 — both of which were feasible of catching…

Had poor Phil not gotten lost on his way to Fuse…

I was kicking myself ‘cuz I totally thought he knew how to get there. We had decided to meet at Fuse ‘cuz it seemed silly for the majority of the group to go all the way to Namba only to backtrack past our homes.

After some over the phone directions, it was finally decided that we would just meet Phil in Iga-Ueno. We all silently crossed our fingers that our lanky friend would be able to find the place on his own, as our dear friend Phil has this way abouts him that warrants such.

The train ride itself took us maybe two hours or so, with one transfer at Iga-Kanbe. We thought it was wicked cool on the Iga-Ueno line ‘cuz just about every other train had ninja paraphanalia somehow, whether it was decals on the windows or the whole train being painted as a ninja.

We were gettin’ pretty buzzed; just about every other person we encountered along the way to the Iga-Ueno koen had to be a ninja. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t assume as much?

First thing was first, dress up like ninjas. Matt lead us to the little rental house off a side street to the park. Along the road, there was this hill that was just begging to be climbed. We refrained, mostly ‘cuz we weren’t dressed for it…yet.

When we got there, we passed these school children. They stared in that kind of innocent children stare at the gaijin. They were really cute.

Anna and I got dressed first. The ladies who run the establishment advised that we wear the red costumes; I admit some minor disappointment, but otherwise, it was all five by five.

When Anna and I stepped out of the shop, the kids we saw on our way to the ninja place had caught up with us. They were gathered around the ninja cut outs taking pictures and they looked on amazed at the pair of us ku-no-ichi (female ninja).

“Do you want to take a picture with the ninja?” Kuya asked them in Nihongo.

They cheered at the thought and we were promptly surrounded by ankle biters. They were so cute, although, a few of them had to be coaxed by the chaperones. I guess we were scary.

We moved on our way then. Mike had brought his camera, so we were taking some shots for the footage Matt would edit into a short movie. We had been trying to come up with a plot and stuff on the train, but abandoned the idea since we couldn’t really think of anything good. We joked that we would do kind of before and after shots with opening credits; and Steve would get the “and Steven Rolland as Steven Roland” credit. None of the costumes quite fit him, so both pics woulda just been the same.

By the time Phil arrived, we’d been playing around filming and taking pictures for about forty-five minutes. Jacob had a delightful conversation with a Japanese couple, while I traipsed around the stone monuments.

We vetoed paying the 600 Yen for entrance into the castle, figuring if it’s anything like Osaka Castle, it really wouldn’t be that interesting. We were far more invested in going to the ninja house.

As I was standing by a road sign, waiting for the rest of the group to catch up, a little girl walked right up to me and peered up into my masked face. I smiled, then remembered that it’s not like she could tell. So, I waved.

The others had joined us by this time so she started walking among us as we circled her. She pointed out that Phil was tall and that he was wearing black. Mike asked her if she wanted to take a picture with us and she eagerly agreed.

Apparently, being a ninja attracts children.

After we parted company with the little girl and her mother, we started our way to the house. Along the path, a Japanese man was sitting on one of the benches. He turned to us and asked us where we were from. Mike answered, as he is the best qualified among us to do so. He laughed and said, “Why are ninja from America?”

We stopped and chatted with the guy, or rather, Mike and Jacob talked with him while the rest of us ambled about. He spoke of one world: “I am a foreigner in your country, you are a foreigner in mine. We are of one world.” He looked at me and noted that I looked Chinese. This meant something more about being of one people, since I was also American.

Jacob was definitely taken with the guy. He asked him if he could take a picture with him, and the gentleman complied.

“We should probably get going,” Jacob noted.

Mike explained to the fellow that we needed to be on our way; we waved and thanked him, but about half way up the path, he said he’d come with us.

We kinda shrugged and figured what harm could it be?

The courtyard area of the ninja house is home to a shrine. The guy told us that when we walk through the gate, we must walk through proudly and with a regal bearing. We stopped by one of the trees and sat with our backs straight to admire and comtemplate the tree. He continued on his philosophy, which Mike and Jacob politely listened to. I’m not sure how the others really felt, but my ADD was kicking in again and I wandered around the courtyard a bit.

Matt pointed out the time and we realized that we had to get the costumes back by four. Mike once again explained this to our new friend, and we parted company for good. As we approached the entrance, we noticed another ninja. He was dressed in true garb and not rented costume.

“Hello!” he greeted cheerfully in accented English. His smile was wide and friendly. “Welcome!”

There was a sign for a ninja demonstration, but the last show would be at 2:30 PM. I looked at my watch and it was exactly 2:30.

“Quick, ask if we’ve missed the show!” Jacob urged.

It turned out that the cheerful fellow with the wide smile was actually part of the demonstration. He said we hadn’t missed it, but it would cost an extra 200 Yen. Didn’t seem like a bad idea so we quickly paid the admission and followed Ninja Dude to the stage area. I wondered vaguely if the performers were part of the Bujinkan Dojo, too.

We were the last to arrive and we took the open seats house right (my theatre skills haven’t atrophied — yay!). The other people who were already seated looked on and some of them chuckled at us. Yeah, we were definitely a sight.

Ninja Dude went center to welcome everyone. He spoke in Japanese to the audience house left, and then turned to us and spoke in English. I smiled. He seemed very excited to practice his English; it was endearing and he was adorable.

He explained about their group and how they would use live weapons, so please be careful and remain seated. After giving some more safety tips and details about the demonstration, he turned to us, grinned broadly, and said, “Finally, video and pictures are most welcome!”

Ninja Chick came out stage right. Her movements were slow and deliberate and she carried with her a katana. She knelt center and performed traditional blessings, both unto herself and unto her blade. I won’t lie and say I recognized any of it, but it strongly reminded me of when I was at the dojo and we were all about to be tested. We had invoked similar blessings.

The first demonstration was from Ninja Chick. There were two bamboo poles on either side of her and she used the katana to slice ‘em up. It definitely got my attention.

Next, Ninja Dude came and gave us a demonstration with shurikens. Like his introduction, he spoke in both Japanese and English.

He held up the first shuriken. “The ninja would put poison on the blades.” He gestured to the edge of the star. “One cut. One poison. One death.”

He threw the shuriken, and then continued to demonstrate using two, then three; each time with different kinds of shurikens.

After, he showed us the kunai. These were sickle like tools that served as weapons.

Ninja Chick came out again afterwards to demonstrate the usage of the shinobi ken and other concealed weapons. The shinobi’s sword differes from a samurai’s katana in its shape. Instead of the curved blade, it has a diamond tip for better stabbage. Also, the sheath has a tip for two purposes; the first of which to double as a thrusting weapon, and the second to thrust into the ground and then use the sword as a step ladder. It was wicked impressive when she did that because none of us every thought of it. I mean, there was a distinct difference in a samuarai’s katana and a ninja’s, but now it’s quite clear.

And quite cool.

Next, she showed us the concealable weapons. The first was one of two flutes. The first one doubled as a knife; the second was dart gun. Mike was dazzled by the second one. I think he wants one. She also showed us the blow gun with the smaller dart. She used this weapon to blow out the balloon that was on the opposite wall.

Ninja Chick showed us the double kunai. These differed from the ones Ninja Dude used in that they had hoops at the bottom for twirlage purposes. She was able to swing them around as a shield, but they readily flipped into her hands in less than a breath.

While she was demonstrating these, Ninja Dude came outa the back, sword drawn and ready to attack. This lead to a demonstration of fighting technique. It was pretty wicked; and Ninja Chick totally schooled the Dude.

Still, I’d sooner take a sword any day, but it was still an impressive demonstration.

That was pretty much it. It was totally worth the money, and we took pictures with the ninjas afterwards.

It has also been established that we all want to live in a ninja house. The false walls, trick shelves, hollow floorboards, and secret rooms were wicked cool! We even got to try out some of the tricks; the false wall and the hidden spy room.

The museum was full of more information regarding the ninja’s way of life. The first case showed models of all the different disguises a ninja would don in order to execute their mission; they ranged from priests, to farmers, to samurai. One thing of note was a chronology of ninja — Hattori Hanzo was among the names listed.

One of the other signs explained how the ninja were hyper aware of smell. They didn’t eat meat and valued personal hygeine, as it could ultimately lead to their demise otherwise. Another sign showed the colored rice and the ninja alphabet system.

It was all very intriguing.

We had to leave around 4:00PM or so, as the park was closing and I had somewheres to be that evening.

All in all, it was a great trip.